so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
