I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize