It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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