operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize