Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize