His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
