Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
