Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
