great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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