we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
