she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
