Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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