Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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