I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
