I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize