and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize