ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
