I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
