Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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