Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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