I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
