Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
