KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
