We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
