so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
