Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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