but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
