he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need a beard to bite.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
