I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize