He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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