real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She bit a glass in half.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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