I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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