You work out of a Hotel?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
