I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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