jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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