i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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