did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize