i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
