He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
