woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
