All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That accounts for only three of the penises
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize