it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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