lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
