1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
