so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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