I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
