Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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