...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
