just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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