told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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