I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize