woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
