Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
