not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
