I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
