If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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