There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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