Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
