My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
