I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
