The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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