And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
