Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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