Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
