I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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