I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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