Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
