i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
