There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Found your dick twin last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
