dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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