just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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