I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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