There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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