if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
