the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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